Tag Archives: expecting

Babies are terrible conversationalists

Now that I am pregnant I am finding that people think I am suddenly going to be a different person. That I will conform in some way to the ideals of proper motherhood or that I will suddenly care about interacting with other people’s children. Just because I am having a child of my own does not mean that I have to like children in general. It would be a wonderful thing for our over population crisis if every person who didn’t care much for children decided not to have any of their own but it just doesn’t work like that. I know I will adore my Son but fuck off if you think I care about your child enough to want to crawl around on the ground and act like an idiot for his enjoyment. I actually have never even held a baby or changed a diaper in my life. I never had the slightest desire to associate with babies, I mean what do they really have to offer? They are terrible conversationalist’s, they shit and puke all over everything, they are truly rude little bastards. Oh, they are cute, right? Well my dogs are pretty goddamned cute and I have never expected visitors to pay attention to them or say how adorable they are and I was never offended when people simply didn’t want to came into my house because of them.

All that being said I surprisingly enough always knew I would have kids of my own and that I would be a decent Mother, probably a really good fucking Mother. Not that I had anything to learn from but maybe because I had plenty of “what not to do” experiences with my own family. Maybe because of how passionately protective and devoted I have always been with the family that I have created in my life. Or maybe just because some shit, you just know.

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